File for Divorce or Mediate Before You Separate?

No one teaches you how to break up.  In love and war, emotions play high.  Often, a race to the courthouse to file for divorce can occur.  But, there is another way to break up that may not only be in the best interests of “the wallet,” but also in the best interests of any minor children involved.

Parties can file divorce on their own (or pro se), but more often than not, at least one spouse will retain an attorney.  The attorney’s retainer is rarely less than $5,000.00.  Not every couple has a spare $10,000.00 to spend on two attorneys – and the retainer is likely just the beginning. 

Sure, you’ve seen billboards that announce that attorneys will represent you for a few hundred dollars if the divorce is “uncontested.”  The second there is any dispute – holidays with the kids, the amount of child support, who gets the debt – it’s a contested divorce.  Simply put, it is the rarest of occasions that a couple’s divorce is uncontested, at least for the billboard attorney.

But, one way to set up an uncontested divorce is to mediate before (or during) separation – or at least before a petition for divorce is filed.  For about $1,000.00, a mediator can assist the couple with working out the details of their split – the debt, the assets, the children, the retirement, the house and furnishings, etc.  When couples have already gotten most, if not all, of these issues worked out on their own, they are well positioned to avoid a big legal battle that simply drains the pot of money that they are fighting over (okay, or usually are fighting over). 

Check out www.mediateB4Useparate.com for more information on mediation in the context of separation.  There is at least one other way to break-up, other than making a mad dash for the courthouse to file for divorce:  it’s Mediation.

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